Say something, I am giving up
This journey is full of ups and downs, just when you think you have cracked it, found a way to keep moving, keep smiling. A word, a situation, a feeling makes me feel like I’m back to the beginning finding a way through.
Its been months of feeling good, feeling hopeful and boom, here I am again, hit by waves of sadness and loss. Who do I talk to, they are gone, who can I relate to? who can relate to me? who can understand?
There are people in my life who have lost a parent, lost a friend, lost a sibling, lost a relationship, but how do I deal with loosing all, loosing all at once?
Say something I’m giving up on you…. What is my you, life, joy – I know deep inside that I will once again find a way through (not sure there is ever a way out) but right now, life, say something because I’m giving up on you.
I have done all I know to do, said all I know to say but I will continue on this journey one step at a time, one moment at a time.
My lesson, each day is a new day, no day will ever be the same as the last, but I cannot get complacent, the work is a daily one, even when I don’t want to I must, I shall.
What is my work, finding joy in the small things, being grateful for all I have, even if its for my legs for getting me out of bed.
But for right now, most importantly to me right now is to show myself kindness, I have not failed, I have not let myself down, I am living my life as it currently stands.
Its so easy to isolate, this has been my greatest temptation, weary of the chatter, what feels like meaningless conversations. Listening to the complaints (valid for each individual) for right now, to me, so far from my own reality.
“I will stubble and fall, I’m still learning to love, just starting to crawl”
So world, please say something, show me something, because I’m giving up on you.
I AM CHRISTYNETTE
I AM TRUTH
4 Comments
Rae
Christynette I can feel your words, your writing is raw and beautiful. I’m praying for your strength and that you are granted more good days over bad. Come what may, keep pushing through and keep writing and keep sharing. R x
Christynette
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment Rae.
Luiz
Hi Christy,
I don’t know what you are facing, but I also lost. I have lost so much in this life. I’ve lost the opportunity of having a loving mother for starters. I had one, but I wish I hadn’t.
I lost my father when I was only 23.
I lost so many jobs, even though I worked my ass off.
I lost 3 broken marriages.
I lost my 2 beloved sons, because they really never loved me as I needed, or at all.
My life has been a continuous exercise of letting go.
I am a tired 51 years old man, I feel like I lived 3 lives in one.
But i know this life isn’t it all. I know we are immortal spirits inhabiting a temporary body, and if I work hard, keep my head down, spirit high, good things will come.
And you know, they have.
There are a blessings in my life too.
Many.
One of them is the memory, when in a restaurant in Rome, I met these two great ladies : Christy and Makeda, and we talked, we laughed, we even sang (they are great singers). It was a memorable night for me.
These are moments I will cherish as long as I live, and that’s because of you.
Take care
Luiz
Christynette
Luiz
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I am sorry to hear that you have faced so many difficulties. You are absolutely right, its so important to cherish the good moments.